Beating with a belt, water hose, etc.

There's breaking news lately about a father who had been caught on camera whipping/beating his stepson with a belt during a game of catch.  Have y'all seen it?  Here is one of many links to read about it and see the video:

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/06/anthony-sanchez-california-official-caught-on-video-beating-stepson/

I often read or hear about things that are similar to what my husband had to endure growing up.  For goodness' sakes, his dad even beat him when he was 20 years old and we were dating!  My husband had called me crying at the time, but I didn't find out what his dad had done until many years later after we were married and had cut them out of our lives.

Back to my point.  This dad on this video was arrested and charged with child abuse, and is being investigated, etc.

Well, I've known for a while that my oh-so-wonderful father-in-law would whip my husband and his brother with a belt.  This would go on for minutes at a time, often 10-15 minutes straight of being whipped/beaten with a belt.  He wouldn't hit just their butts - it was the back and the legs a lot.  He always made sure to hit places that wouldn't be seen.  He would leave welts, bruises, cuts, and marks on them.  I still cringe thinking about it.  I made sure my husband understood this was not normal or okay.  I never dealt with that - I don't even think I ever got spanked!  Also, his mom would beat him with a water hose because that's the only way she could hurt them.  I about flipped that she actually said that.  I'm sorry, but punishment should never be about hurting your children!

Moving on.  This video is hard to watch, but while watching it, I was thinking, "Well, I guess that's what my father-in-law was like when he would whip them with the belt."  So, I showed my husband the news article and video.  I asked him if that's what it was like for him, and he said, "No, it was a lot worse for us.  It was constant and long, and if we screamed or cried, it got even worse."  This also wan't a once or twice thing for them - it was a regular occurence.

Yikes.  Not to mention his dad threw him into walls, held him by his collar, threw things at him, broke things, etc.  I asked why his dad would beat him like that, and it basically boiled down to if his dad was angry, he wanted to take it out on them, and he would find any excuse to do so.  What a sicko!  Plus, his mom was always so manipulative with statements like, "I just won't do this..." or "Well, then I'm not going to..."  you know, blah, blah, blah - all to get them to do things, and she would yell and scream at them over nothing.  They are just full of so many issues!  Unfotuantely, now, they project all of their behavior onto me and blame me for everything they do!

Well, the guy in the video got arrested and charged with child abuse!

See, it's not just me!  Other people know this kind of behavior is wrong.  However, my in-laws are so good at hiding it that no one knows what they do.  However, if people knew, they would think the same way as the ones who do know (my husband [now that he knows a different life than that], me, my family).  When I hear or read stories like this one that are so similar to my in-laws and then I see the outrage over it, it reminds me that it's not just me who think it's abuse and terrible and awful.  If other people knew the truth about them, they would think so too.  It's just that people don't know - my in-laws work hard to have the "perfect" image on the outside.

I always feel bad for my husband when I hear what it was like for him, but I'm glad he is safe and away from it now (and me too - plus, our children won't have to be subjected to that either - thank goodness!  My husband and I have said there is no way we would ever want our children around those crazies!).