Emotional Abuse-Hope, Healing, Dealing-My Story: Non-existent

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Non-existent

My in-laws have said on many many occasions that I do not exist to them. They have said I am not family. They've excluded me a lot, to say the least. We got something in the mail that bothered me. My husband's brother and his wife have been married just a year and they had a baby 2 months ago. Well they sent out baby announcements that she addressed. My husband and I have never met this girl, so keep that in mind. Who was the announcement addressed to? Just my husband. Not me; not me at all. ONLY my husband. I expect that from my in-laws because they've been doing it for a while-excluding me. But this girl whom neither of us has ever met sends something addressed only to my husband, purposely excluding me? And they wonder why we don't want anything to do with them? Seriously...maybe it's my hormones, but I get so tired of people I don't even know doing stuff too. I guess she is going to be just like them and do everything they want. Well, shucks.

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The Purpose of this Blog

Emotional Abuse is real. It is damaging, hard to recover from, difficult to detect, and often overlooked as minimal. I know, from experience, how awful any form of emotional abuse can be. When you first experience it, you may not understand what is going on, and why you are suddenly feeling the way that you do. I promise you that I have been there. On top of being a coping mechanism for me, I hope, through this blog, to reach out to those who experience similar trauma to what I have endured and continue to experience. I'm keeping my name unknown and not revealing the names of anyone involved for now, but I promise you everything I write is real. I hope by sharing my experiences and knowledge on the subject, I may be able to help others.

Feel free to leave a comment. I welcome any and all responses.

What is emotional abuse?

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation etc. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased.

Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching", or "advice," the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones. In fact, there is research to this effect. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until he/she is incapable of judging the situation realistically.

This definition was borrowed from the following website:
http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm

Emotional Abuse vs. Psychological Abuse

I tie emotional abuse and psychological abuse into the same category. Keep in mind that many of the examples I'll use will be psychological, while others are emotional.

Psychological abuse deals more with the controlling aspect. It aims to change a person's thinking.

Emotional abuse deals with the emotions of a person - it destroys his/her self-esteem.

Those are the main differences I gather from the two. Seeing as how destroying self-esteem can change a person's thinking, you can gather why a wrap them together. This is not just me. All of my counselors have done the same thing, so I assume it's okay to do.

Emotional Abuse-Hope, Healing, Dealing-My Story

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Non-existent

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