My husband I were talking a couple of weeks ago because the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is coming out in May but it doesn't have Orlando Bloom - sad day! Anyway, Orlando Bloom is my celebrity crush and has been for a while. So, my husband has never told me of a celebrity crush. The only person he can come up with is "the girl from The Mummy." But, according to him, it was the actual character in The Mummy and not the actress herself. I even try to list out celebrities...Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, Brittany Snow! None work.
So, I tried to move on. "Have you ever had a crush on anyone?" - you know, he only 'dated' one person before me (in his eyes, he didn't even date her at all), and that was actually his dad dating this girl through him. In other words, his dad made him date this girl that he didn't want to date and consequently, do everything his dad told him to do (gross, I know), so he didn't even have a crush on her...didn't even like her at all.
His response to that question was, "Yeah, I had a crush on you." Nice hubby, but that's not what I was looking for.
I was trying to get a sense for this. Maybe girls just have more crushes than boys do. I mean, as far as celebrities go, I had a "Hot Guys" folder on my computer just for those really nice looking celebrities. And, I can remember my favorites growing up - Jonathan from New Kids on the Block, Tom Cruise (Yep, that's right), Ben Affleck (even made a collage for the background on my computer), JC from *NSYNC (mhmm, I was obsessed with that boy band), and Orlando Bloom (Andddd he still is super good-looking to me).
My next response was, "No, not me, I don't count. Think about in like elementary school when you 'liked' someone but it was a huge secret and you could only tell a couple of friends. Or, even in high school, when you have crushes on the older people. Or, you just start to 'like' someone without dating them or even with dating them."
His response? "No, I never was like that with anyone. I never liked anyone until you."
Sweet, but I was wondering what was going on, so I asked, "Seriously? Not a single person?"
Him - "The Mummy girl."
Oh geez, here we go. Me - "That's it?"
Finally, he says, "You know what? This may seem strange, but I feel like my mom always wanted us to have crushes on her."
Okay...ew...I just sat there.
Then, he said, "I can't really explain it, and I don't really know why I feel that way."
So, I thought about this for a second, and I realized I knew exactly what he meant. So, in an effort to help him feel better, and to understand his childhood, I said, "Well, I do." Then, we proceeded to talk about what I'm about to write.
Here's what I told him about how I understood it.
There have been plenty of instances in which his mom would shoot down his compliments of me, his desires to hang around me, she would force him to do stuff with her, talk to her, listen to her, etc....and all of this was not in a motherly way, but in a "love interest" way.
For instance, one time my husband was complimenting my booty. He said something about how I have a nice booty and he likes it (sorry if that's awkward for you to read). Well, his mom replied with something like this: "That's not a nice butt; she doesn't even have one. If you want to see a butt, you should look at mine." Okay, weird!
Another example is her getting so mad and pouting when my husband wanted to watch The OC with me in another room. I remember her literally arguing with him like she was dating him to come in there and watch TV with her.
Another example is when my husband was sick, she was watching Dancing with the Stars, and she kept trying to push it on my husband. She would always want him to come watch this dance, or this contestant, or something "funny" that happened on the show. My husband would always try to respond in a nice way saying something like, "That's okay, I don't really like that show." She would, again, pout, and then come back about 5 mins. later to tell him all about something that happened in the show. She would seriously act like she was dating him.
Another thing is clothes, or hair, or getting nails done. Anytime my husband would compliment me, or even look at me affectionately or like he's attracted to me, she would say something like, "Well, don't you like what I'm wearing?" Or, "Look at my hair, doesn't it look good?" Or, "Well, I get my nails done so I actually look nice and not dirty" (I don't get manicures or pedicures and my husband was saying how he liked that).
I know these things may seem small, but that's what I noticed about what she would do with me. There are plenty of other times when she would try to make herself seem prettier, or smarter, or better than me to get attention from her own son.
So, when I started mentioning these little things, my husband was like, "Yes! She would always do stuff like that. With people on TV, friends, random people we saw while we were out, family, anyone, she was always trying to make us think she was better than them in some way - and she wanted us to 'like' her for that."
So, there you have it. Weird, I know. Emotional incest anyone? Granted, I know this comes from who she's married to - not getting attention from her own husband, but still....ewwwww!
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