“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back. There are some things that time can not mend. Some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold.”
This is from Lord of the Rings. Frodo says it at the end of Return of the King.
I'm not saying you can't move on from abuse. You can move on from it; however, the wounds from abuse will always be in you. How you let it affect you is what makes all the difference. Do you constantly remain in the victim state? Undoubtedly, you will be in that state for a long time. Or, do you accept it as something that happened to you and move on from it? I'll admit that sometimes I still find myself in the victim state. This state is surfacing less and less and that's a good feeling. It will be nice when one day it clicks, I forgive them, and move on. Forgiveness doesn't mean I have a relationship with them like nothing ever happened. No, that can only happen if they recognize their behavior as abusive and permanently change. Forgiveness simply means you don't harbor bad feelings toward them anymore, and you are able to move on with your life. I haven't accomplished that yet. Research tells me that forgiveness takes a while in these situations, and I must be patient. I'm just waiting for that forgiveness to come. That will be my final peace, and I will finally be able to move on.
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