Decisions

Well, we know that my husband's sister (the older of the two) is off at college. We're debating whether he should call her. She's the one member of his family that there might be hope with. But, we don't want any negative repercussions for her or us. Anytime something major was coming up (birthday, graduation, etc.), we made sure to send her something. We sent her stuff because we truly do care about her, and we wanted her to know that. We never wanted to not have a relationship with his sisters, but we were forbidden to do so by his parents. They literally gave us an ultimatum and threatened us. After everything they said and did, we decided it was safer for us and his sisters if we didn't contact them. There were a few times we tried to call, but we would be put on speakerphone, his sisters would be used as tools to say something his parents wanted, or the phone would be taken by/handed over to his parents and then we would have to just hang up (among other things).

But, now she's at college. Those things can't happen, right? Is this just wishful thinking? I know we could have had a great relationship - we did have a great relationship, so I think I just get sad thinking how I lost someone I could have been close with. I have no idea what she truly thinks about my husband and/or about me. The other sister (the younger of the two) has said a lot of hurtful things about me that are almost unforgivable. I try to be understanding saying I know she's been brainwashed to act that way, but I still have no desire to talk to her again after all she's done. But this other sister...she's said and done a couple of things, but nothing extreme like the rest of the family. It's hard to know what she's actually thinking. She's the one member of the family who actually admits that her brother's friend's kid isn't her real nephew (grandson for the parents). So, deep down, I feel there is something inside of her that might understand it. I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to. Hrmmmm what to do.



My husband and I were talking the other day about one particular instance that was just crazy. I don't know if I've written about it, or if I've even mentioned it, but I'm going to now.

While we were doing our undergrad, 1500 miles away from where they lived, his family would come stalk us out every 3 months or so..or more. Well, one day, I was at class, and while I was walking to my other class, I called my husband (who was at home). As I was talking to him, he said, "(My name), my truck's driving away...someone just stole my truck." And I was like, "What?!" So, he ran downstairs and there was a note on our door. It said something like, "If you want your truck back, you need to call me - Mom" and she wrote her number down. Okay, I mean...seriously?! Well, I went to my next class, handed in my work that was due that day, and tried to go home, but uh...his mom was standing on our doorstep.

So, I called my husband. Apparently she had tried to use the key his brother had and never gave back. But, thankfully, we had changed the locks. Whew! So, she kept banging on the door, and yelling through the door at my husband.

Meanwhile, I called the cops. See, my husband bought the truck with his own money before we ever even met, but his mom's name was on the title along with my husband's because they didn't even let my husband pick out his own truck...they went one day without him and did it all...ugh! They are so controlling! We tried to write his parents to get them to send the original title so that we could get everything changed, but they claim they never got the emails and letters (we sent it like 5 times through email and once in a letter). Whatever liars...you knew you could hold that against us and try to control the situation. That's how they are...they see something they can use and then use it to try to manipulate you and the situation to get exactly what they want. In this instance, they wanted to try to manipulate my husband into talking to them.

Okay...so I called the cops but because her name was also on the title, I couldn't report it...dang it! So, I drove around trying to find his truck, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was literally shaking, my heart was beating so fast, and it was hard for me to breathe (panic attacks...ugh...they suck...but I haven't had them in a long while...and I wouldn't have ever had them had I not had to deal with crazy abusive in-laws!). I called my brother who lived about 45 mins. away from us at the time and told him what was going on just in case he needed to come down there (I'm telling you, I'm terrified of his dad). I remember telling my brother, "His mom is standing outside our house and I can't get in, but when I drove by I gave her a really mean look." And my brother laughed at me...it does sound kind of funny.

Also, it was as if they planned it. You see, when my husband was really sick and we were at their house, and then all craziness broke loose and his dad ended up sending me flying across the room, that's when we knew we had to leave and not have anything to do with them. That was just it - I was scared for my life - my husband was furious and angry - not good for someone who was having a heart attack because of pneumonia and came within less than a day of dying just a couple of weeks before that. Ugh! So selfish! Anyway...when we went to leave that night, we could only find the spare set of keys. We couldn't find the keys to his truck we always used. We looked everywhere...in other words, his stupid family probably took them to try to keep us from leaving (or, my husband from leaving...they don't give a crap about me), and they forgot about the spare keys (thankfully!). So, we just took the spare, and, at the time, we figured the original key was just lost. Now I know...stupid manipulative jerks!

Back to the story. My husband's mom was yelling through the door and banging on it, and said something like, "This is crazy," or "You're acting crazy." I can't remember...it was one of those two things or a combination of them - I just know crazy was in there, and she was aiming it towards my husband. Then, my husband kind of lost it. He threw open the door and said, "I know you aren't calling me crazy when y'all are the ones who flew all the way up here and stole my truck, you stupid B*@!?!" My husband hardly ever cusses..only when he's really mad. I don't like cussing, so that's why it's edited. :) Anyway...I'm not sure what all went on then, but I know his mom looked him dead in the eye and said she would never lie to him and my husband laughed. She asked what she has lied to him about and he said, "I don't have the time to sit here and list all the things you have lied to me about."

I guess she walked around the corner and got his dad and his truck. They brought some papers to get the title switched over. Told you...they wanted to control it all. How much simpler would it have been for them to just send the title up to us? This was when they claimed they never got those messages...liars! Oh wait dear mother-in-law...was that a lie just now? Ughhhhhhh....then, they of course put me down, put my husband down...denied crap they've done...oh, asked for a puppy if our dogs were going to have them? Yeahhhhh I think not psycho! They also asked if we would go to dinner with them, and then got mad when my husband said no. lol...dummies!

They tried to claim that their insurance company told them to fly up there to take his truck. What?! What kind of insurance company would suggest that? Is everyone they associate with just as crazy as them? Or...oh, wait...was that another lie? Seriously...I am so angry right now writing about this! They are just insane!

After a long 45 mins-1 hour of waiting, my husband finally called and they were gone. We were both so shaken up. We both had class all day, and missed it all. But, of course, they don't care. They don't stop to think about what we might have had going on. They are only thinking about their controlling and manipulative ways.

Luckily, my counselor took us in an emergency session. Kevin was really upset, and I was really mad at the time. The next few days, of course I got depressed. Like I used to do every time they would do something. I would always be mad at first and then get depressed for a few days. My husband gets upset - angry, sad, annoyed, confused, etc., but then he's fine the next day! Dang boys and their easily controlled emotions.

Oh...they also claimed they didn't fly up there to take his truck. They flew up there to look for a place for his brother to live when he moved up there in a couple of months to go to school. A different school - thank goodness! But...if they didn't fly up there to take his truck or try to get into our house, why did they bring all the keys to do so? LIARS!

My husband called their bishop to explain what happened and to ask him to make sure they actually do send us the title. The bishop seemed really bothered that his parents did that and he was really mad at them at that point. Then, when my husband called back a couple of weeks later to get the status on the title, the bishop was annoyed with and mad at my husband and me. Just shows how manipulative, cunning, and dishonest his parents are. Who could possibly be able to turn that around on us? The title did come...months later.

Oh...but a few weeks later we got a card in the mail that said, "Sorry we had to borrow your truck." It said a bunch of other mean crap too...it even tried to force that friend's kid on us...he said your nephew in it. That kid still isn't even adopted...why not just admit you're using him to replace my husband?

Okay...but borrow his truck? BORROW?!! What the? Stupid crazies. I don't believe what y'all did constitutes borrowing. But...I'm sure that's what you said to everyone when you got back home...you probably also found a way to turn it around me...or my husband...or both of us. You just lied your way out of it. Well, guess what idiots...you won't be able to lie your way out of everything...you will destroy your own lives.

When my husband and I were talking, we were just thinking who in the world would not actually think doing something like this is crazy? But, they didn't think they were crazy in doing this...they defended it somehow to other people. How can you possibly justify this? I can only assume they lied about it...that's the only way they could make it not look crazy on them. I'm sure they put it on me somehow...like they do with everything else.

And they call me crazy and psycho? I don't believe I stalk y'all, hack into y'alls accounts, show up everywhere you are, snoop through all of your stuff, steal money and possessions from y'all, write mean, hateful letters to y'all, show up at your church and go on the stand to say crap about you, corner you at your work/school, contact your friends and leaders to try to convince them of things about you, write church headquarters about y'all, and everything else y'all have done! No...even though y'all have done so many terrible, crazy, hurtful, manipulative, dishonest, mean, hateful things...I have sat back and nothing in return. Nothing! Ever since we stopped talking to them 3 years ago, I haven't said or done anything to them. But I'm the crazy and psycho one? Oh, yeah, that's right...because you make stuff about me...you lie about me...and some people believe you. I still have hope that there are people who can see through this persona they put forth.

Okay..I'm done...I'm going to go lay out by the pool and read a good book. Hopefully, it'll clear my head. Gosh...remembering these things really brings up strong emotions.