A year into our marriage, my husband got really sick. He started out with a fever and sore throat. We took him to the doctor, and the tests showed no strep or flu. A week into him having a high fever, we had a follow up doctor appointment, and they admitted him into the hospital. He had a fever of around 103 or higher for a week, so I'm glad they did. They determined he had a blood infection (caused by the streptococcal virus - so strep, but the test run by the doctor was run too late into it to show a positive result for it or something like that), but they could not keep his fever down. While in the hospital, he developed pneumonia - he has a higher chance of developing this because he has 3 autoimmune diseases and a connective tissue disorder; the technical term is a "mixed connective tissue disorder." They began treating him for pneumonia and released him with antibiotics to get better. He was in the hospital for a week at this point.
During that stay, I got a whole lot of crap from his family that deserves it's own post. Despite my husband saying he was fine with just me, his mom flew up there because "no one can take care of him like his mother." Can't tell you how many times that was said/something like that was said. She even brought his brother. They were jerks to me from the second they got there. They ignored me - acted like I didn't exist. Hellooooooo...I've been sleeping at the hospital taking care of him, and y'all show up the day he's getting released and think you're helping? Um...I do believe you showed up to cause drama. And they did.
Leaving a lot of information out because it's too much to write at the moment, I'll get you to how we ended up in our home state. His mom and dad kept calling our bishop, who then got worried and contacted my dad (who was on vacation in Europe at the time - rotten timing, I know, but they had no way of knowing this would happen). I guess they were making threats and saying things that were really scary, so my dad called me and said, "(my name), I can't explain right now, but you need to tell (my husband) to leave. He needs to take all of his stuff and get out of there. It's for both of your safety. I'll explain more when we're back in the country, and we can be around to help." So, that's what we did. It was so hard! Turns out...that's exactly why his mom came up there in the first place - they even told people we were getting a divorce, which was never anything either one of us mentioned. Basically, she came up there to get her son away from me to try to get us to divorce. What weirdos.
Moving on...lots of stuff went on while they were driving back too. We talked the whole time and she was very annoyed and bothered by that - sorry he loves his wife more than his mom! Anyway, the night they got back, he was having a lot of pain in his chest and left arm. They took him to the hospital (By the way, they weren't even going to call and inform me of this - my husband had to push them to do that - how horrible are they? The first time he went in to the hospital, I called them, even though I hated them so much). Well, he was having a heart attack - fluid built up around his heart and was essentially suffocating his heart. I'm sure the drive across the country didn't help...stupid selfish psychos...we now refer to this as "the kidnapping." He asked his mom the night before if she would get him water, and she said, "You can get it yourself." Hellooooo, you knew he had pneumonia. He told me about that and then said, "I realize now everything you do for me. You actually take care of me and truly love me. I need you to take care of me" (When I was staying with him in the hospital, he would say my name and I would pop up to hold his drink for him because he was so weak, he couldn't do it himself. I would bend the straw down so he wouldn't have to move - I would do whatever he needed without hesitation). And then he went to the hospital about 5 hours after he said that to me. He came within less than a day of dying. I flew down there, and no one even told him I was coming, even though he kept asking about me. And they knew too! Dummies. The nurse had to tell him I was coming and what time I would be in. My friend had to pick me up from the airport, drive me to the hospital, and let me stay with her that night.
Okay, soooo he was in the hospital for a total of a little over a week and a half, had a fever of around 103 for about 3 weeks (you're not supposed to live longer than 2 weeks with a fever that high), had strep throat, a blood infection, pneumonia, and almost died. Needless to say, the doctors didn't want us driving back to where we lived right away. So, we had to stay in the state. My family was still in Europe, so we thought our only option was to stay with his family. Ugh...big mistake!
Every other day or so, there was something awful said to us or done to us. No matter how I acted (friendly, nonchalant, quiet - I tried it all), they would never treat me well. I cooked dinner every night, and they never ate it. I cleaned and I bathed/took care of their dogs, and they thanked my husband; not me. They even got mad at me for cooking. Oh, I'm sorry...my husband almost died; I don't think it's really healthy for him to eat fast food every night. We got sarcastic remarks, snotty remarks, mean remarks, down right rude remarks.
Oh, but don't worry...they were nice to me in public. What a fool I was. Once, I even thought things were getting better because they were so nice to me at a church activity. But, that was only for show - because people were around. Behind closed doors, they weren't even close to nice to me. In fact, one morning before church, his dad left him this terrible note - degrading his whole character and destroying me (all because his mom told him he had to choose between me and them, and he said he chose me - she wanted me out of their house, and he said if I go, he goes with me, and she got furious). Then, at church, as we were waiting to talk to their bishop (who offered to let us stay with him) because we felt like we needed somewhere else to go, his dad walks up to me and is like "Hey! How's it going?" and gives me this huge hug in front of all these people (I just stood there; I wasn't going to hug that jerk back). That's when it clicked with me that he would be nice to me in public because that's who he is - a liar, a showboat, someone who hides how he really acts. When we talked to their bishop, their bishop even told me I needed to get out of their house and that it wasn't safe for me to be there. Some of their friends told me the exact same thing. Maybe they knew what he was capable of.
Sometime while we were there, a member of their church died. We were going to go to the funeral, but I got into a huge fight with my mom, and I wasn't able to get ready in time. My husband didn't even know the guy very well, so we didn't think it was that big of a deal. They did - they were furious at us for not going. The next night was their church's halloween party, and his little sister (the youngest) really wanted to go, but his parents kept acting like they weren't going and wouldn't take her. So, we offered to take her. Well, that didn't go over well, and that's when all you know what broke loose. The night of that halloween party was a huge turning point - the night I saw what it was like when they snap. And, ya' know...I don't even think that's as bad as it can get. It was the most frightening night of my life. And they won't admit to and apologize for any of it, making it even scarier.
That will be my next post - that night.
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